Cauliflower – a variety of cabbage (Brassica oleraceavar. botrytis) having a dense white mass of fleshy flower stalks that form the head.
I mentioned in my last post … my decision making process during our evacuation was quite “surreal”. While videoing those things that meant a lot to me, I went to this place … that was the most unemotional, rational place I had ever worked from. That place where speed was an option.
For some reason … that place left me when we got to the refrigerator. It makes no sense. We had just purchased a Costco membership with Brad & Elise and had our fridge crispers full of large bags holding vegetables of different types.
I was able to decide not to evacuate my sewing machines that are worth thousands of dollars … but, could not decide which veggies to cram into our much smaller RV fridge. I started loosing it when I saw Barry had decided to throw away the cauliflower ….. it’s funny now …. I think ….
In retrospect, The cauliflower decision wasn’t really about keeping vs. wasting cauliflower, but was really about coming to a somewhat subconscious resolve that the cauliflower presented an opportunity to release some of my pent up anxiety through unloving and unnecessary words spewed at my husband.
Decisions can be both easy & difficult … simple& complex … necessary & unnecessary. Deciding the fate of the cauliflower was clearly easy & difficult. Deciding where we were going to evacuate to … was both simple & complex with COVID, fires and heat all around us. Deciding to release pent up anxiety was necessary … deciding to release it on my husband was not.
The thing is … as a Christ follower … if I ask God to guide me … He will. His 1st step of guidance is through scripture. If I get “off track” He will correct and guide me back onto His path … it is called repentance and forgiveness.
After a good ponder … the “Theology of Sandi” has concluded that the Lord is not as concerned with my right or wrong decisions as he is if I am making them lovingly or not.
I shall ponder … … …